#18 - Climbing

Despite being mostly the better team Arsene Wenger's (pictured) Arsenal were sent home with no points at all. Something David Bentley wouldn't mind. Although the performance wasn't exactly sensational the commentators favourite cliche of winning when you're not being at your best is certainly to quote another commentator cliche, is the hallmark of Champions. Climbing around Old Trafford though, Arsene, is the hallmark of stupidity. Still. 3 points in the bag against one of our main title contenders this season. There's not too much to complain about, but inevitably people will.

This becomes doubly annoying as the International... zzzz... zzzz... zzzz. Oh sorry. The tedious International Break™ is coming up next. Is it just me that doesn't really care about international football during the season? I'm all for it afterwards but.. stop interrupting the leagues, damnit!

Also. Does anyone know what time exactly Darren Fletcher turned from pretty good into possible world beater? It's really outstanding how much he's improved over the seasons. Certainly now surely Roy Keane can understand why people in Scotland rave about Darren Fletcher.

Anyway. When we do come back after the international break the Champions League kicks back in again. We were given a draw of such equally sort-of-good teams that's actually quite tough. Especially Wolfsburg and CSKA Moscow. Besiktas though, who were humiliated by Liverpool 8-0 a couple of years ago.. surely we should be looking forward to a double figures victory?

Speaking of cup draws. Our Carling Cup draw of course faces us with a Premier League team, thankfully not a particularly tough one. Mick McCarthy's Wolverhampton Wanderers will be our opponents for the reserves. Is it just me that really enjoys watching them?

So no Manchester United for a few weeks... what to do... what to do?

This blog has been brought to you by;

• Absolutely hating the colour commentator for ESPN's coverage of Serie A. Who successfully got every player wrong in the Roma vs. Juventus match.
• Banana Milkshakes.
• Deciding which International team to support for a few weeks.

#17 - Redemption

Apparently a Manchester United XI side were involved in a football match at Turf Moor on wednesday... but this blogger doesn't know anything about that. As far as he is concerned it didn't happen.

We did absolutely definitely play against Wigan Atheltic yesterday (home fans pictured). After a first half reminicent of the match against Burnley we came out the second half and torn them a new one. Much to the dissapointment of Wigan Atheltic's only fan Fatty Pieman. With Rooney's brace, a Berbagol, Michael Owen's competitive first goal and a Nani free kick our scorers were exactly who we would have wanted. Ben Foster again made a few cracking saves as well and looked far more assured than he did a few weeks ago. Which gives people on internet forums (who on wednesday, in their wisdom along with the media procclaimed doom and gloom [which I will now refer to as dloom] to all. As United fans we should be used to the predictions of dloom) alot less to rant about.

Of course a 5-0 over a powerful but ultimately average Wigan Athletic side isn't cause for thinking about who will be facing in the Champions League final this year. A real test of how this new team will fare will come against an improved Arsenal team next weekend. Which just isn't the same fixture as it used to be, we miss Viera vs. Keane.

After seeing Darren Fletcher (actually!) football genius weave more of his magic in the centre of midfield it's more a question of "Fletcher and who?" in our midfield. With Scholes, Anderson, Carrick, and Gibson vying for that position. If we went back 5 years would any of us actually have thought Super Darren Fletcher would have turned out this good? It's a superb example of Sir Alex's guidance and keeping faith in our young guns.

Bad news though, Rio Ferdinand looks to be out for a full month and with Jonny Evans looking set to need surgery at some point in the future our defence could get a bit wobbly. Thankfully though T-1000* Nemanja Vidic and apparently now good John O'Shea we should be able to come through it unscaved.

*I realise the T-1000 was the one played by Robert Patrick and not Arnie but it sounds cooler.

Hm. Transfer rumours have dried up incredibly involving us lately. It's a damn drought out there. And I'm not going to sink myself as low as possible by checking Tribal Football. So I'm going to start making my own transfer rumours. I mean.. uh.. this 100% true from my Uncle's dog's cousin's best friend Susie who once knew a bloke called Ken who used to work at the trainning ground as a painter once.

In - Daniel Day-Lewis, Ronaldinho

Out - Dimitar Berbatov, Alan Keegan.

True. Daniel Day-Lewis is a direct replacement for Berbacool because he's the best damn actor in the world (watch My Left Foot) and if he got in character probably could be a professional footballer. Ronaldinho as our new announcer will be a little strange though.

This blog has been brought you by;

• Craving some Coco Pops.
• Being thankful F1 is back after their break.
• Wondering why the Premier League doesn't have a winter break or finish early before the World Cup?

#16 - Finally

Finally the season has got underway. Celebrations in all parts of the globe were heard last weekend by all sorts of people. At least that's what the Premier League (pictured) in it's constant effort to hype itself up would like you to believe anyway.

A good day for United fans on sunday. After watching us win our first opening game since 2006-2007 season with a comfy 1-0 win over Brummy City. With some United fans regarding freebie Michael Owen as a failure due to his one well saved shot by Joe Hart, this blogger may soon have to ignore reading any message board to make himself ignorant to stupidity. These will be the same people who lambasted Ben Foster as terrible last week and now would rather him in their team than Iker Casillas after his excellent save later on in the match.

With Wayne Roney's goal he looks set to be on course for a season filled with plenty of goals, unless of course he has to play centre back next weekend. With Ferdinand out for two weeks and Vidic and Evans looking doubtful no one is quite sure who will be playing there. One-nutmeg-every-seven-years O'Shea did have a decent game at centre back but do we have any experience to cover in the centre? Mayor of Manchester Gary Neville is still an uncertainty over he will ever be able to string games together or spent his later years like a goateed Ledley King. Craig Cathcart is fastly inexperienced at this level as well but needs must.

Our reserves could still do a job for our main squad though. They did pick up the Lancashire Senior Cup (don't tell anyone Manchester isn't a part of Lancashire anymore) with a late winner from Kiko Macheda. Which under a team managed by Ole Gunnar that will probably be the norm.

Transfers rumours now come on an occasional basis. Gone are they days we'd be linked with one new random midfielder every day. Former player and current Stoke City player Ryan Shawcross has been one linked but he's been saying it's a shaw thing that he's not going. Sorry. Don't get cross.

The other rumours though continue on the more usual ridiuclous. With Barcelona fresh off doing nothing with Cesc Fabregas now wanting to do nothing with Nemanja Vidic. And the rumours of Sergio Aguero going somewhere are still a constant.

There's actual transfer news though. In a deal I thought was sorted out ages ago, Richard Eckersley is set to join Burnley. Which leads to much shrugged shoulders and general indifference everywhere. As well as that Tom Cleverley is sent out on loan to Watford and wondering what all the buzzing noise is. Daniel Drinkwater will be tasting the water in Huddersfield. Danny Simpson will be looking embarassed in Newcastle United's terrible away strip. Lastly Tom Heaton's also been loaned out to Queen's Park Rangers and wondering why the other players he's with are getting paid more than him.

In other news Patrice Evra continues to be a legend.

Despite that news being boring the season is back. And whilst we may have not been grabbing any major headlines there's been plenty of action. Phantom goals and Liverpool losing being the highlights.

This blog has been brought to you by;

• Turning old.
• The annoying sound of a hoover.
• Wondering how long I could survive in an Irish bar with a fake Irish accent and constantly exclaiming "Roy Keane!"

#15 - Foyled

In another "devastating" cup defeat right up their with our penalty shoot out loss to Bayern Munchen in the Audi Cup. We are neither champions of the Community as we lose out on the Community Shield (pictured). Whatever that is supposed to mean anyway. Of course, people are rightly angry about the manner of Chelsea's goal. Although the result ended in a draw due to Rooney's fine goal it was the luck of a penalty shoot out that sent us home crying about our lack of community status. Patrice Evra was booked for a foul that really, just looked like every tackle Wes Brown has ever made. Oh well.

Of course, I don't care, you don't care and Chelsea don't care.

Short-sleeved Sir Alex cares of course, going as far as to saying the incident cost us the game. Perhaps a little too harsh since we did equalise later on, still. We've got a right to be furious... for a day. Until everyone forgets about it. Do you remember that charity shield match in 1996? No! No one does!

It's still lovely to know that we're just one week away from our first real game against Birmingham next week and all things considered it was quite a good performance, first half especially.

This comes after an impressive display against Valencia in the mid-week in which Valencia looked good. No, not Valencia... Valencia. The game was capped by a clever finish from Tom Cleverley. Oh. I've resorted to terrible puns lately.

A couple of days ago this bloggers favourite newspaper, The Guardian posted what had to be some sort of sick joke. Or perhaps their own attempt to win "Stupidest Transfer Rumours 2009" awards. David James was said to be on his way to us. And Nicky Butt of all people to Liverpool. It's hard to think of what to say to that. Where can you possibly start? What's the next rumour? Ian Rush for us and Bryan Robson to Liverpool?

Still. Rumours are sparse. Has anyone heard any good ones?

Our reserves though are still doing well under Ole. Even Tom Heaton has learned how to finish under Ole as he scored in the friendly against VV Katwijk of the Netherlands. Yes, the same VV Katwijk that have been General County Champions in '93, '94 and memorably '00. Heaton was substituted on as an emergency striker for Febian Brandy. That wasn't all though in another strange move kitman Ian Buckingham got in the game in the last minutes. Who's next?

This blog has been brought you by;

• Chocolate biscuits.
• The fantastic sounds of Lucero.
• My new blog that I'll occasionally update: I've Seen Them Given - If anyone wants to help out with that then please do.
• Wondering why Google Chrome is so terrible with Blogspot.

#14 - Pogs

With another signing of a player none of us know anything about besides the occasional "I signed him on Football Manager!" there's really not too much to speculate about it. There's not even any Youtube videos for us to know nothing but then claimed to have seen him play regularly. Though what I can exclusively report to you is that Frenchman Paul Pogba (pictured) was certainly not signed because his name rhymes with Drogba. Also, he was born on March 15, that's the same as Mikael Fossell. Anyway his former club Le Harve are obviously angry that they lost out to him to a much better club. Of course, everything we did was perfectly legally so we'll harve our cake and eat it too. Ho, ho, ho!

Back in Germany we lost out in a penalty shoot-out to typically shoot-out effcient Germans, Bayern Munchen. With Evans having his penalty saved as we lose out on the Audi Cup. Such a shame. As we all wanted next years chant to be "Champions of England, Champions of Audi!". For anyone who's concerned about that result, don't be. It really means nothing.

Something that sort of means something is the Community/Charity/Pre-SeasonNothingMatch Shield match against Chelsea just one week tomorrow. First though is Valencia. The club that constantly teases bankruptcy but never actually goes that final step. Still. With all those links with us and David Villa or David Silva, wouldn't it be nice if we good just kidnap one of them?

Along the lines of players we might consider kidnapping. Here's one we don't want to kidnap anymore, Frank Ribery. Who's now decided he's not going anywhere. Which he's now saying because Madrid won't fork out that much for him. Despite possibly going to buy Xabi Alonso for £stupidmillion. At least he's still got his looks... sorry.

Although we may not to be about to cheer about how we are Champions of Audi, we are Champions of Milk! Our young guns won the Milk Cup (for actual details go to the excellent United Youth blog for a condensed report). We would usually have a tour bus for our young lads but that would really be milking it... sorry. I wish I could write more milk puns but I'm only skimming the news and don't have enough time and now need to moo-ve on. I'm sure you've got it anyway.

Henrik Larsson sadly is retiring from football after breaking a knee cap. Which I'm pretty sure only happens if you piss off the mafia. So I'll be starting the speculation that Henrik Larrson has links with the Mafia much like Sinatra did.

Well, it's nice to have things to write about.

This blog has been brought you by;

• The sun! It's still here... for a minute or two.
• Wondering if the DFB-Porkal Cup is the coolest looking football trophy.
• Trying to get a Faroe Islands passport so I can play regular international football.