Saturday, 25 July 2009

#12 - Crime

A.K.A. Jukebox Police

After Steven Gerrard (pictured in court) was cleared of affray this blogger and many other people across the world shouted in glee. At long last it was entirely legal for us too beat the living daylights out of the gits who hog the jukebox and pack it with terrible music at bars. It's a score for music lovers everywhere. At last we're legally allowed to serve a beatdown if anyone decides to select Creed on a jukebox.

Anyway. With my happiness over. Let's go back to United.

The pre-season nice-beating of East Asia continues with a 3-2 win of FC Seoul. Not too much to say about these pre-season matches are there? If we lose, so what? If we win, so what? At least though as each game goes by we can tick off another day as we get closer to the start of the season. Hurrah! Just one more game of the East Asia tour against Hangzhou Greentown tomorrow.

3rd choice striker Carlos Tevez is definitely not at City for the money. At least that's what he said before not actually saying why he was going there. We'd take any reason "don't wanna move house", "the blue brings out my eyes", or "I'm too jealous of Ryan Giggs's chest hair". Anything! Except the usual crap about it being a "project" and a "challenge". I'm sorry, but since when do footballers like "projects" and "challenges"? I thought it was about winning. How strange that only clubs supported by super-trillionbillionzillionaires are the only clubs with these "Projects"? Why does nobody join Bolton Wanderers for a "challenge" and "project". Sorry Tevez, no one believes you.

Us and Arsenal are going to get fined £5,000 (steady on, now!) for general fan troubles. Some foolish Arsenal fan threw a bottle at Nemanja Vidic. Instantly killing the bottle. One of ours threw a smoke bomb on the pitch. In a world where it's £15,000 to Croatia for racist taunts and £30,000 for the death of 20 fans. What on earth is that about? Still. Steven Gerrard is no doubt thanking his lucky stars he didn't throw a bottle at anyone.

Right. Well. Off to beat up some djs.

This blog has been brought you by;
  • 12 jukeboxers with black eyes.
  • Wondering if I could go on Come Dine With Me with my infamous Super Noodles.
  • The sun is back!


  1. HAHAHAHAHA @ Greentown pic .
    You mentioned Tevez , speaking of whom - Why aren't the United faithful living in Manchester (like yourself) ,not taking a more active role in defiling the horrendous blue banner with his charred face on it ???

  2. It's quite high up. I've seen it from a distance but I've not been close enough to it. What I did see was there's quite a few brown stains on it now. No one has managed to get Tevez's head yet!

  3. Well ,get stilts then . Think something up . It MUST be brought down !

    Also , what a result for Greentown. 2 goals against us . Not too shabby for a mid-table Chinese team , eh? They would defiitely give Newcastle a run for their money .

  4. Newcastle have been making me laughing all year long, it's been great! If Leyton Orient can score 6 past Newcastle, I imagine Greentown would win 14-7 against Newcastle.

    Great to see Tosic scoring also.

    I don't trust myself on stilts I don't want some bad headlines like "man breaks back trying defile Tevez poster on stilts". Maybe some sort of high power watergun.. with red dye might work.