Tuesday 9 February 2010

#35 - O.G.

Sir Alex has a wonderful eye for talent. None more so than this years latest signing Mr. O. Goal (pictured), we don't know much about this mysterious player other than his recent form is quite exceptional. After scoring the opener against Arsenal, O.G. went on to net a hat-trick against helpless Portsmouth. Portsmouth, who are managed by Baron Silas Greenback who, inspite of what his team may doing on the pitch, is not shy of scoring himself.

Mr. Goal has now scored more goals than any other player this season bar Wayne Rooney. Of course, the mysterious underground illumnati new world order group that is the Dubious Goals Panel may take some away from him. Some would claim that Michael Carrick's shot was going on target before it took a quite spectacular deflection. The Dubious Goal Committee (a.k.a. Dubious Goals Skull and Bones Society) is a cult full of bizarre and degrading initiation rituals. They dwell in a medieval room under a church and sit around a round table in candle light. They can't know each others identity in case they discuss goals with each other so they have to wear horse masks for all their meetings. Someone please tell Alex Jones. And wait patiently for Dan Brown's next book The Da Vinci Goal.

After that revelaing insight, I think they'll come after me now. And take my hard earned goals away. Well they would, if it wasn't for my professional record of 0 appearances and 0 goals. Which cuts me at a ratio of a goal of game, sort of.

So next up is our future League Cup final opponents, Aston Villa. Away at Villa Park is usually a guarenteed result but Aston Villa did beat us earlier this season at home. Unfortunately for them, this is our time of the season to steam roll as quickly as possible to the title. Judging by their negative performance against Tottenham Hotspur we may well see a recreation of the style of match we had against Portsmouth. Defence vs. Attack.

Then comes the big one in the San Siro, David Beckham's AC Milan. AC Milan have got over their bit of good form lately and are back to being their under performing selves. Though recently this may have been due to the abscene of Alessandro Nesta. Who I'm pretty sure has another good 30 years to go before he needs to retire.

Beck's though has been heaping praise on the club and the fans lately. He clearly wants us not to boo him. We won't, we still love you, David.

In our last piece of news-worthy news our kid Matty James has gone on loan to... no, you guess. Go on. Who do you think? Yep, you're right, the new Royal Antwerp - Preston North End. Sir Alex must really be close with their manager, eh?

So, Google Analytics is a very useful tool for seeing how people get to this blog. Usually it's through the excellent Repulik of Mancunia blog but sometimes strange google searches seem to pop us up as a result. Here's a few examples of what people have searched to get here: "edwin var sars favourite colour", "djemba djemba transfer rumours 2009", and the champion of all bizarre searches to get here - "kaka licking sucking michael owen his cock". Lovely stuff. What sort of weird internet porn is that? Go on, which one of you was it?

This blog has been brought to you by;
  • Wanting to watch Danger Mouse again.
  • The brilliant new Crime in Stereo album "I Was Going to Describe You to Someone."
  • Frosties.


  1. lol wonderful read ...
    Mr.OG scored another vital one for was in the villa game. he get my vote for the player of season (sorry wayne)
    was tempted to try googling the kaka and owen sucking. but somehow refrained myself.
    Wonder why that search lead here.. any clue

  2. I've no idea, besides those words possibly being mentioned randomly through out the blog, I'm almost certain I've never used them together before.

    Where are the goals going to come from since Ronaldo's gone? The opposition, apparently. I love Mr. OG. He needs a chant!

  3. Tags maybe?! ;)
    Hilarious read! More of the same please!